paramore

From C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity: "Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

I watched 2012 today. It was strange because everyone came out of the theatre as if nothing really happened. Some laughed it off, some entered lengthy discussions of no consequence or importance. I did feel scared watching it, even though I shouldn't have. I felt like I was doing everything wrong in my life. Sometimes I question my salvation, which shouldn't be the case too, right?

But I'm not scared now, not really. I've forgotten the thoughts running through my head as I saw people, or rather us, being selfish, being stupid on that big cinema screen. I did think "How could God do such things?" before I could stop myself, and I feel rather guilty about it now. I'm very sorry.

But I've forgotten everything else. I guess that's part of being human, we forget so easily. We live, then we forget, and we go on living, then forget, and it goes on and on.

I think if I could choose a Christmas present this year, it would be innocence. No need for double-guessing, for reading between the lines, for questioning my questions. No trying to uncover people layer by layer, nor trying to hide myself in more layers.

On second thoughts, I'd rather have a hamster. Or maybe a skateboard. It'd be nice to not use my feet anymore..

Fantastic Mr Fox was great. It has taught me to always Appreciate Sophia's Taste.